I'll go crazy on you.

Saturday, November 4
Flight: 264
Depart: Phoenix Sky Harbor Intl, November 4 10:29 AM MST
Arrive: Detroit Wayne County Metropolitan Airport, November 4 4:21 PM EST

Ideal sitch: go to Lansing from Detroit, have someone from Saginaw get me in Lansing on Sunday or Monday, then be in Saginaw, have someone then take me back to Detroit Wednesday morning. Holler.

And no, I won't be sleeping between now and then. Or eating.

I got a new phone today, and it pretty much rules. No more CD player at the gym for me!

(no, seriously, I was that girl)

I love you all so hard.

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'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

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Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm but it will only make
Me colder when it's over
So I can't tonight, baby
No, not baby anymore
if I need you, I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
My hand won't hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I'm giving up on you


Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave

He is coming out tonight to Hot Thursday, and I am ever so excited.

I took the time to delete every single fucking entry about food, eating, not eating, etc. out of this precious, precious journal.
on the upside, I leave you with
a nice prosey summary of 2002-2005:

VII
yours is the music for no instrument
yours are the poems i do not write.

transplant.
you tell me to pray and I do
what if the arrow still points to you?

metastatic you.
never seen blue
like the blues he drives
in and around
and through me again.


we are likened to pangea
i was africa
you south america
but we still look like
we fit together


carlysparkle yay: things are developing faster than a 12 year old
carlysparkle yay: I think I just one upped you on the psychoness
typingsquirrel: i see nothing wrong with that


"Free will and determinism are like a game of cards.
The hand that is dealt you is determinism.
The way you play your hand is free will."

dear self,
please stop counting on
anyone but you
and maybe for once
you'll only be disappointed
in me.

so back in le day, on vacation with my parents around the tender age of 15, I found this poetry book.......no author or anything........and I tore two poems out of it (sorry people who rented the cabin to us). I don't know how my teenage angst allowed me to relate to them, but that's another entry. Regardless, I still have the two stolen pages somewhere, but today serendipitously found one of the poems online.....let's share.

As I Walked Out One Evening
by W. H. Auden


As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.

the only thing getting me through
this michigan winter now
is the promise that
it's the last

arizona august '06 baybee

job interview at Sparrow in lansing next friday.....as per our discussion, me 'n' Cale will either have a celebratory dinner, or a 'holy shit, did I blow that interview' meal.....nothing that tearing it up with tCF can't fix.....

so much to say. not enough of an audience to say it to.
I'm inches from rock bottom.
there, that was eloquent.

who would've thought that
don't come around here no more
would
1)be dance-to-able and
2)lead me to the love of my week?
welcome to
the family,
frannie.

i'm giving up (stop) on waiting any longer.

.......to Aaron bka "the Whams" Warner for his recent aquiring of an X-O-llent award at his place of employment. Several slaps on the back and attaboys are waiting.

....people who complain about their situation whilst doing nothing to make it any better, and instead becoming a burden to others. don't call me.

aaron is real: well here's something to add to the "Things I Didn't Want to Know List"
carlysparkle yay: ok
carlysparkle yay: hit me
aaron is real: - There are nude photos of Susan Sarandon on the internet.
carlysparkle yay: I figured this was going to be exciting
carlysparkle yay: like a story starting off with "So I was airdrying this morning, and I didn't have my contacts in........do you know how SHARP those plastic fan blades are????!?!?!"
aaron is real: hahahaha
aaron is real: I miss airdrying - I don't do much of that since I moved home

Portions of this conversation not affecting the outcome have been edited for time restraints.

Enjoying the job move.
Possible trip to Lansing on Saturday.
Imminent graduation pending.
Don't ever go to Maria's on State St. Ever. No clauses are appropriate.
Lesson learned: Though it is common knowledge that hoes don't make good housewives, some people are sensitive to that fact.
Why do only boys with shirts not on want to be my myspace friends?

no protestors there, eh Warner?

Anyway, I may very well be getting a brand new (spanking) 2005 Charcoal Ford Focus sedan. Apparently they handle as well as a Lexus.....delicious.

I need encouragement, big time.

I'm considering applying for a different position at work.

Big step.

We're talking a coordinator role. Coordinator as in 'hella responsibility', as in 'learning a new department on top of hella responsibility'.

Jenny's mom wants me to do it (she's the one who encouraged me in the first place---I'd technically be her manager, haha).

I need your corniest, cliched, uplifting morsels of goodness and joy posted in response to this so I grow the testicles required to apply for and possibly take this position.